Mr. Briggs
CFO (Chief Fetch Officer)
Mr. Briggs brings a distinguished pedigree to his role — 78% German Shepherd, 17% Siberian Husky, and 5% Chow Chow, with 100% commitment to greeting every visitor at the door. His standards are exacting, his loyalty is unconditional, and his compensation package consists entirely of treats.
As for the fetch? The title is largely honorary. Mr. Briggs has considered the matter and remains unpersuaded that retrieving things is an efficient use of his time. He delegates.
If you'd like to make a strong first impression at the office, a quality bone doesn't hurt.